July Already!

Amazing that summer is here and the weather is great and I haven't been bitten by a flying bug.
The above picture is my Mothers Day gift from Morgan. I entered it into the Marin County Fair (as I usually do with her art) and we went to the fair to see it. I got my usual BBQ Corn (with Pepper and Parmesan Cheese) and we spent most of the day at the 4H exhibit, the Pig Races and the petting zoo. Then we went to the Adult Art and Bonsai exhibit. It was 5pm and we told Morgan we were going to go home. Morgan was saying "I haven't gone on any of the rides!!" I then said, "Tomorrow you are going on a field trip at camp and coming to the fair and I am sure you will get to go on the rides". So when I picked her up from camp on Monday I asked her what do you all do at the fair? ( I was thinking she showed her camp friends her painting?) Morgan said,  "Well... we went on rides until lunch and then we went on rides after lunch." Interesting. I thought maybe they would see the Chinese Acrobats or the Puppet Show. Not go on rides all day. Morgan said her favorite was the Haunted House which she went on 7 times.
Summer this year has included going down into the garage looking in the boxes and deciding what we no longer need. Boxes of books now being given to the library. Innumerable items went in the box for Goodwill. I like the Summer give away. Mark found the Williams-Sonoma Kitchen Library Grilling cook book which I brought back upstairs. I am so excited because the Fathers Day BBQ present is coming into fruition on the 18th when Ace Hardware has its 25% off everything sale. My plan is Grilled Halibut. Of course I am sure Mark will want Baby Back Ribs. Well now its 3pm and it is time to get dinner started. I like to eat at 5pm and go for walk. I just looked down at my pedometer and I have taken 8,107 steps today. 10,000 steps is my daily goal which is about 3.5 miles.
Happy Summer.    
 

April is my mandala month

Yes, I did use crayons to color this. I like it. It is now the screen on my blackberry. Funny as I was typing blackberry I looked down and it said lackberry. I am sure there is something I could say about the lackberry but that was not my intention for this months blog. Anyway as I mentioned I like my mandala. It is not something I am going to destroy. Hence why it is on paper and not sand and now on my phone as a reminder. I use it to settle down into my silent prayer time. To get into my feeling of atonement. My at one with the world feeling. Actually it is my at one with myself. At one with my family. At one with my community. At one with the US. In the larger picture at one with the world.

Lately I am bugged by the soon be be presidential election news. I don't want to hear Obama this and Romney that. I am being silent. I am finding silent is feeling really good. I am silent.  

What, St. Patrick's Day Again?

OK this is a Christmas Ornament that we kept in the garage this year but hey it's Spring-ish right?

Yes, it is the last day of March but it does count as my March blog.......

Much to say about March... St. Patrick's Day.

This year Mark and Morgan went bird watching in the 40 degree morning weather as I got ready to go to a memorial.
Funny though as St. Patrick's Day is the day my step father passed away 19 years ago.
So at the memorial I felt strange as my friend Bea who passed has a twin sister and it was amazing too see her sister, not only does she obviously look like Bea but she had Bea's voice.
I was sad, sad, sad and crying too. I know and believe we are eternal souls but the loss of someone is hard on me.
I trust I will see Bea again yet I am scared thinking about the loss of my life on earth one day. Everyone leaves eventually myself included. We all sang the Irish Blessing song which now I can't hear with out wailing.

May the road rise up to meet you;
May the wind be always at your back;
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
And the rain fall soft upon your fields;
And until we meet again,
May God hold you
In the hollow of His hand.

Rev. Karyl who did the eulogy did say that when people are passing they don't say "I wish I would have worked harder" they say "I wish I would have said I'm sorry" or "I wish I would have forgiven a particular person" this memorial has asked me to remember to tell my friends and family how much I love them. To remember to apologize when I need to. To say sorry when I need to. To appreciate when it rains. To appreciate when its sunny. To appreciate life when I wake up and go to bed. To live in Gratitude.

Spring cleaning.... well this year we are putting new windows (double pane went bad in a few) so that means I don't have to clean any windows... I do have to get the step stool out and clean the top of the refrigerator... I am thinking of how I am feeling lazy and glad I can claim it as a once a year thing although it probably wouldn't hurt to clean the top of kitchen things more often. I guess I can pass it off to Mark. Sounds like a good idea. I do know sometimes things that sound like a good idea turn out to be a not so good idea but we shall see.

Pasta sauce has been in the crock pot 2 hours which means its dinner and movie time Kung Fu Panda 2
amazing you can get a movie at the market from a Blockbuster box.

Spring Blessings to you.

Gaelen

February+Valentines+My Birthday= :)

Well, what can be better than an espresso with a heart on it? Actually that is what I would like to drink right now but I don't feel like driving to a Cafe where I can get someone to do the heart. Sorry Starbucks and Pete's I wish you would do that because your all of 2 minutes away.
Yet have to declare its 4pm and no espresso for me after 2pm.
It has been a great month with lots of things that I wished for have come to fruition.
A really yummy dinner at my favorite restaurant (pasta and parma for Morgan) and food that Mark and I enjoy! Oh I think I forgot to mention the Lemon Drop Martini.
Wait did I tell you there was no rain on my Birthday? No freezing cold wind? It felt like So Cal. and almost even made me miss Manhattan Beach but no too much.
A good friend of mine even went to South America to get married. It is the Love month you know.
Even received many Happy Birthday email's (thanks to facebook) and a few phone calls too.
Ate more than 1, 2, 3 Dark Chocolate bars! Maybe even 4 :) this month.
A new purse/backpack/messenger bag. Have I mentioned I have a thing for purse/backpack/messenger bags? I am hoping if I save them long enough Morgan will want to use one before I decide to send them off to Goodwill.
One thing about a 9 year old. I cried when Morgan gave me the Valentine card she made for me. The card was too cute and loving in a nine year old way. Today, I wish I was nine. I can hear Morgan and her friend playing wii in the living room. Giggles. Giggles. Giggles.
I did email out Valentine cards. Now as I write this I sort of think maybe it would have been better if I had actually sent them out snail mail like. Now that I just wrote that I think Gaelen give yourself a break. It was the though that counts.
I see 4 deer out the window and call for the girls to come look. Yes, I do remember seeing the ocean out the window. I am thinking how can I compare them? I am unsure of what to say. Its probably a matter of how am I feeling. The ocean has a certain energy to it. The waves hitting the sand. The deer slowly eating the grass. Both are good. Actually in essence everything is good. Even Great.
I am happy to say when I take the time to sit all things are great in my life.
Gaelen    


    

Happy New Year 2012

Just when I thought maybe I should re post last January's this year because it is still all the things I believe in I found this. Something that made me cry because it was so beautiful. Please click on this link for a short video. http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=Hzgzim5m7oU&vq=medium

Happy Holidays

Remember to take a breather

Ok, long time no see.
Been busy.
Very Busy.
Busy with things I do not really want to talk about.
Thinking of ways to do everything differently.
Living in gratitude.
Laughing at this picture of myself and remembering that laughing is a very good healer.
Wishing everyone reading this Happy Thanksgiving.
Gaelen

HIGH ANXIETY (Very Very Nervous)

This is a story, not necessarily about the movie High Anxiety by Mel Brooks which I saw in 1978 and I was 13 and that movie made NO sense at all, but a story of MY HIGH ANXIETY!!!

Looking at the picture above Morgan was 2 hours old. This is the picture I have in my head every day of my life. Morgan is my 2 hour old baby. In her 8 years to date I have never seen her really hurt herself, not fall down, no tripping and falling, yes, a couple of scrapes but nothing really serious.

While at work I happen to look down at my cell phone which was vibrating and notice a call from her summer camp. I answer it thinking "Oh God please don't be another Lice at the summer camp call!" and the camp staff member says "Morgan has fallen on the play structure and has hurt her lip." I hear Morgan crying in the background and ask to speak with her. Morgan is crying yet says, "Mom I love you".
I leave work immediately to pick her up. Driving there I was getting nervous so I call Mark and tell him she fell off of a wooden ramp way between 2 play structures. He was leaving his work to go to a meeting and would not be home for a few hours.
So I put on my smile face and walk into the camp. I notice there are no kids there. I think why are all the kids away from the gymnasium? I walk in the gym and there are 3 staff members sitting on chairs blocking Morgan. At this point I become very, very, nervous! Now I fully understand the feeling of High Anxiety!
I call out, "Princess Burrito Mama is here!" I then see her and there is blood all over her jacket. Her mouth is bleeding and her lip has swollen to 3 times larger than normal. I think, please let her new front teeth be in her mouth. I just want to cry. Even writing this I want to cry. So I pick her up and tell her everything is all right and we are going to go home and we will just sit on the couch and I will hug her. She speaks real low, its hard to hard to hear her.
We sing the, "All is well" song. Her mouth is bleeding and I hand her a new Kleenex. I start to sing the "Every little cell in my body is happy, every little cell in my body is well." I change it to "Every little cell in my body is healing me, every little cell is healing me now." We get home and her lip is still bleeding. I ask her to open her mouth and her teeth are still there. I ask are they loose? She says no and I don't want to stick my finger in her mouth to check. I quickly call my sister and ask her to Google "What to do when mouth is bleeding" and tell her to call me back so I know what to do.
I have Morgan lie down on the couch. My sister calls back and I say "Yes, I put an ice pack on her mouth." Morgan says "As I was falling the wood hit my gum." So it wasn't her lip that was bleeding but her gum. I didn't really understand because at that moment I though I was going to have a heart attack anyway.
Her lip bled for two hours. It was too late to take her to the dentist and I was too scared to take her to the hospital. I did start giving her little little pieces of bread to eat. It was so hard for her to open her mouth. Round about this time I started looking in the medicine cabinet and the only children's medicine we have is allergy medicine.
I did give her plenty of water to drink though.
Finally Mark came home and he looked about as scared as I was. He is certainly a braver soul than I am. He started looking around for Tylenol or Motrin too. I mentioned we had none. Mark went out to get her some pediatric oral electrolyte freezer pops. Her mouth was no longer bleeding and she wanted to go to bed. We put her to bed and Mark and I went into our room and just looked at each other and said nothing. We were so scared we had nothing to say.
The next week her mouth healed and the swollen lip went back to its normal size.
Summing it up I guess I have to say, time does heal all things.
I feel better, Morgan feels better and I asked the camp to use a broom to wipe all the sand off the wood so no one else slips.
I think, "Wow I do worry a lot". I also remember I must have written that before in my blog, yet I am to tired to check and see. I actually don't want to know because I don't want to feel like there is one other thing I have to fix about myself.
So, time does heal all things but LOVE heals everything too! So I chose to love myself, trust God and know that All is Well.
Happy End of Summer!

10 Years Ago

Yes, this picture is 10 years old. It is a little weird even writing that because in some ways it seems like yesterday.  Of course BIG things have happened in the last 10 years. I guess I am just in the mood to appreciate what has happened and mix in some gratitude with that. I have even forgotten that I liked when Mark had that 1980's George Michael beard. Well, I fell in love with Mark in the 80s so maybe it makes some sense.
Coming back into 2011 Morgan is now calling me into the living room to see what she has created. The Airstream is parked in the Sacramento River Delta and not often used.
I am now a licensed insurance agent with State Farm and work full time. I am semi missing being a stay at home mom yet it feels good to go to work.
Although I am strong willed I am congratulating myself at accepting this life change with not so much boo-hoo-ing, OK maybe a  little.
I am feeling good in a different way. Tired in a different way. Most nights now I sleep thru the night, don't wake up at 2 and finally fall back to sleep at 5. Now I just wake up at 5 :)   I am using my blackberry more to send emails mixed in with ipod emails as opposed to being on my laptop at home. I find it more important to just be with Morgan now that I am not near her all day. Which means I have got to post this blog and watch Arthur with her.
Happy Summer.
Blessings,
Gaelen

I really must be lazy

If your sitting in bed and too tired to get up and go to your laptop to write your blog does that mean your lazy? Maybe I am just inventive. Laying here in bed and thinking wait a minute I can post my late April/early May blog from my bed using my iPod touch is inventive and handy.
I was going to talk about how I am not into Easter so much but more into the feeling of spring and the growth of life all around me. Plants, animals, flowers. Oh yes now I remember why I am in bed alergies. Spring the flowers my stuffy nose and headache. The over the counter medcine that kept me moving yesterday and then kept me up all last night. I actually even slept for an hour in the middle of the day which is something my body never let's me do.
Yes that is why I am doing my blog in bed so please excuse the spelling due to finger typing on a small screen.
Spring and the energy of life. Today I was sad. I noticed on the Internet the killing of bin laden. At the bank the tv was showing the news and rejoicing the death of the enemy. I am not happy that the united states spent years and years chasing down a man, a bad man as people say and delight in the fact of his killing. Hate is not good in my opinion. Forgivness,light, love is what fuels life, not hate, killing and condeming others. I do not feel right telling Morgan he was a bad man who killed others so now we killed him and that's his just dessert.
I would rather see myself as a unicorn not as a zombie.
Enough of that rant. April did have earth day and earth hour and the use of candles which I love and things that grow and things that change which helps me remember all things change. Even me and accepting change and growth as great things and nothing to be afraid of.
Maybe tonights blog in bed is a reminder for myself that there is nothing to be afraid of.
That the source takes care of me and I live in trust and love.
xo,G

The Luck of the Irish

Well since I am Irish and all Erin go Bragh, I have to admit I am happy that I do not have to make green pancakes this year for Morgan. I am also happy that I choose to honor myself on St. Paddy's day and not wear green because: 

1. I do not like green.  

2. I do not look good in green. 

3. I do not own anything that I like in green. Except my mini-backpack which is chartreuse.

I guess having the Luck of the Irish this month (not that I don't have luck always) but significantly this month means to me: Listen. 

When two friends that live 3,000 miles apart say the same thing to me, it is time to listen. 

What both of them said, "Do Not Over-think It"

It is what it is. This is my new motto. It is what it is. When I get in my Over-think it mode I tap on my eyebrow, I tap on the side of my eye, I tap under my eye, I tap under my nose, I tap my chin, I tap my collarbone, I tap under my arm and I tap on top of my head. I feel relaxed/calmer when I tap.

It is what it is means that I have faith that the Universe has the answers and all will be well.  It is to wonder not worry. 

Over-thinking it is a reminder to me that although I am dependable, I am unpredictable. Today I am choosing unpredictable and I am happy to do so.

By the way that's me in the photo (the one in the back) when I was, never over think it and never worry Gaelen. I love that me.     

Punxsutawney Phil and early spring?

Ok, how do you even pronounce that name? Our little cactus tree is sort of blooming. Before 8AM the spiderwebs on it glisten in the fog with dew. Not even sure why I am on the deck with my camera at 8AM. If a cactus is in bloom does that mean early Spring? I don't really know. I suppose I could look it up but that's not what I wanted to blog about.

February the month of: my birthday, the month my Dad made his transition, the month of "All you need is LOVE" the month of Morgan is out of school for a week, its even called Ski Week.
Let me tell you, being in the cold snow doesn't really make me feel like Spring is coming. I want Spring to be here, not coming but here. I guess my insides are telling me that dinner needs to be on the table. Not coming, but on the table as in right about now.

I do have faith that I can make a 30 minute meal like Rachel Ray.
Faith, I like Faith. No doubts, no questioning, no worries. I remember now that I no longer use the word worry. I use the word WONDER. I wonder about that. Not I worry about that, I just Wonder about it.

Happy Month of February to you,
Gaelen

2011 I believe mini repost

I believe its ok to have spelling errors when your trying to post your blog quickly.  :)  Gaelen

2011 I believe....

January 2011

I believe in Spiritual Living. I believe in saying I'm sorry. I believe in having good friends. I believe in sitting in silence during the day. I believe in laughter. I believe in knowing that all is well. I believe in getting a good nights sleep. I believe there is a divine right path for everyone to follow and each person has a right to follow thier own path. I believe in love. I believe in peace. I believe in happiness. I believe in forgineness. I believe there is time to get things done. I believe in being organized. I believe in writing things down. I believe in saying, "I love you" to myself. I believe I have made mistakes and that it is ok.

Happy New Year. 

Love, Gaelen

Happy Holidays 2010

Missed November Blog

It has been busy, busy, time. We drove to San Diego for thansgiving, then on Fri. to Palos Verdes and on Sat. to City Walk and at noon drove back to San Francisco. Thank God for the itouch. Morgan played with it most of the drive, as you can see from the above photo she figured out how to take pictures of the game she was playing. I am happy about that but not so happy about all the itouch pictures appearing on iphoto.

Well its December and the busy, busy continues. I have 9 minutes to finsh this and pick Morgan up from school. There is so much to say, but I will have to wait for another day.

Peace, Love and Blessings this holiday season.
Gaelen

Halloween 2010

We went to 3 Halloween events last night and home by 9:15! Morgan made a cute little cheer leader, Mark and I wore our usual costumes. Actually I wore my usual borrowed costume.
I even had a good time at our Spiritual Center's Halloween party, Mark's work party and a Montessori family party.
Morgan only hit me in the head accidentally one time while taking this picture. Cheers for us.

Sitting here writing this I realized what is stressing me out about Halloween. It is the marker of how busy the next 2 months are for me.
This year we are driving to San Diego to have Thanksgiving dinner at my sisters and on the way home we are stopping at Mark's Aunts house to see his cousins + his brother who is flying in from Montana.

November is filled with 5 scheduled meetings so far, 1 Saturday 9-5 retreat, a week of teachers conferences where Morgan gets out of school at noon and the middle of the month is when the Spiritual Center I attend gears up for a Holiday Dinner for Homeward Bound of Marin (training and housing for homeless family's) and I recruit volunteers to help cook the dinner, set up the Hall and just writing all of this sent me into the kitchen to make some espresso.
Lots to do.  I don't even want to start thinking about December. Oh and I just remembered that I want to see a friend in San Diego while we are down there and I don't think that is going to happen.

This is screaming to me the need to remember to take car of myself first. Get some sleep, eat well, drink tea, enjoy friends and family, meditate and remember that all is well and miracles occur each moment when you slow down to witness them.

Has this ever happened to you?

I remember as a child we would play the pass it down game, some call it the telephone game. You tell the person sitting next to you something and they tell that to the person sitting next to them what you told them. Even if the line is not completed, the last few people to receive the message can compare this with the original, and some messages will be unrecognizable after only a few steps.

I remember this being a fun party game, it helps to teach others that it is harmful to spread gossip or to say something to someone you would not like repeated.

Now that we have the Internet and e-mail, the 2010 computer version of pass it down game is not always so funny.

The sending of e-mails isn’t one person whispering to another, what you write does carry a powerful message. It is something that can be read and re-read.

You might not want everyone to hear what you are saying in your e-mail. The reply all button and forward button are actually really scary. Once you press those buttons you can’t take it back. What you meant to say, or what you were feeling, might not come out correctly when you type it. I have felt many different things when that has happened to me. Angry, sad, sorry, a feeling of YIKES I wish that didn’t happen.

Forgiveness of others and forgiveness of self are sometimes hard things to do.

So now my new e-mail policy is think about what the e-mail says and respond 2 days later, or better yet call the person and don’t reply to the e-mail.

Happy September.

Kale Chip Saturday

This is a test b/c I don't have anything planned for August yet

hair cut & skinny jeans

June re-do

Don't Laugh

Yes, it's true. That is a Topsy Turvey planter, the kind you see on TV, and yes, 3 Heirloom Tomatoes plants were my Mothers Day gift, oh and 1 umbrella to fit the table on our front deck.
Now I can eat breakfast outside with the umbrella. Actually, I can have my expresso outside too. No hat needed with the umbrella. Yeah!
We planted the other two plants in separate pots and this morning I noticed 3 little tomatoes growing!!!
I like growing tomatoes on the deck because no scary tomato bugs can get to them!

May is a busy month for me with Mothers Day and at the end of the month our Anniversary.

I am so excited because this year I get a new camera! My old Canon eos was stolen from our truck :-(
I have waited 6 months for my Canon G11. Next time I post a picture of the tomatoes I will be able to take a good close up.

I am so grateful to cross it of the "items needed" list.

Peace, Love and Joy this month for you.

Earth Day

Happy Earth Day
Thank the Goddess today that it isn't raining and Morgan and I can go on a bike ride. Well that is if I am strong enough to lift our bikes off the garage ceiling and get them down to the floor.
I am looking out the window and giving thanks for the pine tree and green grass and the blue sky. I am giving thanks for the awesome and wonderful circle house (earth) we live on.
I am grateful for the fruit trees, vegetable plants, nut trees, animals, insects (even spiders except when one is on the shower ceiling when I am showering) rivers, bays, and oceans. The geysers and volcanoes too. Even the things I can't remember right now but I am sure to remember once I post this :(
Being about the three R's (reduce, reuse, recycle) here is an earth fact:
Never underestimate the importance of recycling: if every newspaper was recycled, we could save about 250,000,000 trees each year. Unfortunately only 27% of all American newspapers are recycled.
Love, joy, peace, patience-Gaelen

HAPPY EASTER

Happy Easter! This is Morgan's drawing of spring.
I have just a few minutes to finish this blog as we have 50 chairs to pick up for our spiritual center, I have to cook a ham for the Easter potluck, put together hats for our youth and family group, go to the market, take a shower. My To Do List today feels like it is never ending. I did vacuum the top of our refrigerator as a spring cleaning thing this morning though.
I was trying to remember Easter with my family and I guess we didn't do anything for Easter. I do remember all of us getting into the car to go to my grandmothers when I was 5 or 6. I also remember I got plastic golf clubs. I kinda remember getting new dresses that we would get dolled up in. I suppose I could ask Colleen and Carrie what they remember about Easter. Now that my parents have passed I guess I could make it up. I think I will tell Morgan that Easter was a lot of fun, filled with good food, spending special time with family and friends, feeling grateful for the energy of the winter melting away with the new growth of life. I am sure that is what my Easter will be about this year. I hope yours is too!
Blessings

Erin Go Bragh

Ireland Forever! I am mostly Irish and I do really like St. Patricks Day. I was raised Catholic and yes, it is a day of wearing green but a shamrock works too. Although green is my least favorite color to wear, I usually wear a lime green jacket.
Now that Morgan is in the 1st grade I have tried to distinguish what is actually alive and not a made up story. So anyway I really haven't mentioned rainbows, pots of gold and Leprechaun's. This year in class there was an assignment to make a Leprechaun trap. Not much into that myself I did let Morgan use a whole roll of tape to construct her own. I even made green pancakes that morning. I was proud that Morgan even ate one. My friend e-mailed me, "I would eat those too, syrup makes everything taste good. " Which is actually true. I put maple syrup on everything, and did eat the green pancakes and they were just like a not green pancakes, yet I usually eat buckwheat pancakes that are mostly brown-ish. It is nice to have spring arriving though having spring alergies is problematic. Happy Spring :)

MORGAN'S PEACE POLE HEART

Happy semi-belated Valentines Day!

This is not only a story of Love, but a story of Hearts Desire and wishes being full filled.

Last year Morgan's class made a peace pole. The heart tile that Morgan made was soul centered for me. Desiring it really wasn't an impulse. I could see Morgan's love in that heart. Her beautiful creativity. The Divine power of Love that sets you free.

I so desired that peace pole! and I almost purchased it, yet I remembered there were other things that I actually desired and needed. At the auction it sky rocked over $1,000.00 and I choose to let it go. After the auction one of the people working on the peace pole let me know that the heart above is the first one she made. They couldn't use it because of the way the Spackle was attached. She had to make a second one which they attached to the pole. So my soul centered desire, my wish was given to me. The Universe is a magnificent place.

Morgan's heart tile now sits on our bathroom counter. I am so grateful. It constantly reminds me of Love energy that is ever present. The Love that heals and sets you free.

Valentines Day is a reminder that Love is Life itself. I often sing this Buddhist prayer to myself.

May you be filled with Loving Kindness.

May you be well.

May you be peaceful and at ease.

May you be happy.

Blessings, Gaelen

Turning 45

What is turning 45? I am not exactly sure.

I do remember when I was 25ish I found my first gray hair. I pulled it out of my scalp, taped it to a black piece of paper and gave it to my sister saying,

"You gave this to me."

Now that I have a whole lot of gray hairs, who can I blame? I guess there is no one to blame.

Is that why so many people dye their hair? Would it help me if I didn't see my gray hair?

Living in Marin with oh so many green people, I don't see too many people with a lot of gray hair.

Are most of the "Don't polish your nails" people and "Bring you own shopping bags to the grocery store" people dyeing their hair with toxin free hair dye?

As it is written on the back of my business card "Thinking makes it so" I guess I should start there.

Is getting older a scary thing? Well yes, to me it sort of is. Does this have anything to do with gray hair? Actually, not really. Is about change? Realizing that daily I change?

I suppose it is. I guess it does boil down to "Thinking make it so."

A received an e-mail from a friend that said, "Time flies, but luckily our kids get older and we keep feeling the same age." Remembering that I am 40ish helps.

Turning 7

Morgan turned 7 and it was so much fun! I don't know what is more surprising that she's 7 or I'm seven years older.

2010 Predictions from ... Beyond.

I really love the positive energy of this message but I like it best with the sound turned down so I can read it.

2010 intention

Yes, I did write more but these words are the essence of it. Please be sure to set your intentions.

happy holidays love the coopers

Turkey With a Little Help

Its me holding the Turkey roasting pan. That is my friend Jo who stood in as a mother figure.

Jo really helped me as I have to say I had no idea how to cook a 22lbs. turkey. Other than putting the turkey in the over I think it was the last time I touched the pan. Jo grabbed the turkey and got it all ready to put in the roaster. I just watched her. Oh, I did hand her the string to tie it all up. I took a small nap while it cooked and Mark basted it every 20 minutes. At least that was the first hour. He quickly realized how fast 20 minutes goes by so he changed to every 30 minutes. I would have helped him baste it but there was no way I could lift the turkey across the oven. I got to be the "time to baste the turkey person" Morgan watched the dog show and parade.

We had 16 people over from our spiritual community. Each person brought a side dish so I suppose it was a Thanksgiving potluck. The turkey was great and it was a whole lot easier to just cook the turkey and make some stuffing than cook all of the side dishes too.

Everyone was gone at 6:00 to see a movie. Mark, Morgan and I just relaxed and watched something on Disney. Something about a mouse whose name I can't spell.

Usually I call my Aunt in Boston and some friends. I even send out a Happy Thanksgiving e-mail. I think the 22lbs. turkey and 16 people at my house spooked me. I didn't do any of those things. Oh yeah, I took some extra strength Tylenol. Even my 75 year old Aunt sent an e-mail on Thanksgiving. I don't think her son even helped her. Carrie sent me a text message. Colleen and I spoke on the phone. I guess it was a "just talk with your sisters" kinda Thanksgiving.

So this is your, "I Hope Your Thanksgiving Was Love Filled." e-mail.

YES THATS THE DOG PJ'S I MADE

Well, I really wanted to post a YOUTUBE video of me but I am running out of time to do so. I have a name for my studio, STUDIO G. I am even going to have a script sort of, thank you to my sister for suggesting that I need one. :)

Anyway this is a picture of Morgan making cupcakes and wearing the PJ's of dogs that I made for her. Baking in the winter is a ton of fun and Morgan loves it. Though I would have to say I do more of the clean up than she does. Autumn is a great time to retreat to quieter indoor pursuits relaxing, reading, listening to music, knitting, singing. Going to bed early. Drinking tea. Remembering to let go of worry and fear and to replace it with the knowing that all is well. Have a TV dinner without watching TV. The best thing for me lately is not watching any TV. Ok I do watch FoodNetwork but no news. I find myself feeling better by not trying to have any judgements so the less I watch what I don't like makes me feel better. Morgan just came over to me in the office and said to me, "Do know what NBT means?" "I said no I don't know what that means." "Morgan said it means NEXT BIG THING" Wow I love that. So what is your next big thing?

I skipped the month of September so I could have a blog break. Relax. Live in joy.

I know I am not the only one who has been extremely busy as I hear the same thing from a lot of people. It sure is time to press the pause button on the fast forward of my life.

I have been so grateful for everything I have lately. A friend of mine commented on how she doesn't like to be away from her Apple computer and I would have to say that is true for me too. As I work on this blog I am listening to the radio on iTunes on my laptop. So I guess my NBT is to continue to be grateful.

life with gaelen 8/3/09

well i sure do hope this works!

I am on YouTube :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PjchT5ikVs

Yes, now that you are at my blog I am asking that you click on the above link and see my video blog. This is just a trial until I can figure out what else I can do. It will only take a few minutes.

It's Me Live

DON'T HURT A SPIDER

Yes, I've heard stories about people who don't kill animals, don't kill humans, don't kill themselves but to speak the truth I have killed spiders. I am not for killing anyone or anything, yet I have killed spiders. I hook up the hose to the vacuum and suck them up. Before I play executioner I say, meet your maker. I started to feel bad about killing spiders so I asked Mark to kill them for me. Myself being just so afraid of creepy, crawly spiders I did not see the need to have them hang around the house. When I heard Morgan say she was afraid of a spider on the ceiling I new that my fear of spiders was what had sunk into Morgan.

In an attempt to be kind to spiders I put on house cleaning gloves and would have Morgan open the back door and then I would take the dust pan and chase the spider onto it and run out the back door and set the spider onto the deck. We would then celebrate how we were the hero's that saved a spider. I remembered that our house spiders don't really live that long and aren't always around the house although when I walked around the house to take today's out of focus picture I did see a few. Now that I've tried to make friends with house spiders I am not as scared of them as I use to be. I just leave them alone and they stay away from me.

In thinking about war today and the many people being killed across the globe, why is it we choose to not to be kind and loving? Why not choose peace? I have chosen to make peace with spiders and it feels great. Why not choose peace today?

The Future is here NOW

Well, I changed the type face thinking if I could see it better it might help me to think of something to write about but as I am typing this I am putting a CD in iTunes so I can sync it with my iTouch. 

The iTouch is great. I remember in 1983 when I would listen to music with a hand held Sony CD player. If I wanted to hear it on the radio I would hook it up by inserting a cassette into the radio. It was large but worked. 

Now 23 years later not only can you put music on the iTouch. Not just one CD but all of your CD's and all of your phone numbers, your calendar, photos, check the weather, look at todays stock market, check your e-mail, see what time it is, check out the web, look at travel maps, watch YouTube and my favorite listen to Podcasts. 

By the way it is so small. You can put it in your pocket. 

The future is here NOW and it is great.

Yes, I do believe that right now there is plenty to be grateful about. 

My heart has been opened to compassion. I don't watch the news but people I know have lost their job, people I know have lost their home, people I know have lost their hope. I have sympathy and concern for others misfortunes yet I know that everything encountered has a valuable lesson. 

Once long ago I was released from a job that I really enjoyed. I was scared and hurt. I was confused. I was living in a dark night of the soul. 

I listened to my intuition and acted on it and began to follow my heart. I began to release my resistance to losing my job. The more I let go of my unhappiness the more room I had to fill myself back up with happiness. 

Learning how to deal with healing myself in difficult times was indeed a large lesson and I am I am so grateful for it. 

I remind myself that God is in this experience and only greater good can come from it and I rest in that Truth.   

As Emerson says "Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen."

I am watching deers outside of my window and getting distracted, which is where I don't want to be.
So far in 2009 I have been distracted, hopeful, busy sewing Morgan an Easter dress (look at above picture), knitting a red scarf, (I will post a picture when I am done working on the scarf) and poking around on Facebook.
Yes, I was doing Internet poking around. While checking things out I came across a family picture where one member of the family was crying and it looked like no one noticed. 

I thought, what would I do if someone was crying? 

Then I thought, what would I like if I was crying? 

Understanding, Love, a Hug, Kindness, Forgiveness.
So while thinking about this I learned that forgiveness is a great thing to think about but a difficult thing to do. 

I focused on forgiving people who I felt slighted by.

I focused on opening my heart for safe passage of hurt feelings. 

I realized the more I opened my heart the better I felt. 

The more I remembered, "The God who caused the question to be asked is the God who has the answer" (Doris Jones) 

Gradually, I felt better and didn't feel like I was riding an elephant. (Morgan's drawing)

I do Love the way all things work out if you have patience and trust. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Wow it's 2009. Time sure is moving rapidly. Of all the things I would like to write about this month, I figure I should start with the inaugural address.
"On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord." (if you would like to read the inaugural address visit http://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/inaugural-address/)
Yes, I cried during most of the address. Yes, I printed it up and offered it as reading material for parents at Morgan's 6th birthday while their children did gymnastics. Yes, I am more than excited to have Barack Obama as the president of the United States of America. Yes, I am crying now even thinking about it.
As Emerson says "Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen." It is with confidence that I know where ever my travels lead I have chosen hope.

Its Christmas again? That was a very fast 365 days.

Yes, that's me, Mark and Santa. I didn't ask Santa for anything. Well I did think of asking for Peace in the world, only I know that each person on the planet has the choice to be at peace. A choice to bring a sense of peace to our lives and the lives of others. Peace is something you can catch. Sort of like catching a cold. When others have it you can get it too. When I am peaceful Mark and Morgan are peaceful. I look forward to the world being at peace. Inspiring others toward peace-full-ness brings me peace-full-ness.
This year for Christmas I am giving invisible gifts. Love from my heart, a gentle smile to strangers, peace in my actions, joy in my voice, hugs for everyone and remembering that Spirit lives inside of me.
Blessings to everyone in other spiritual teachings. Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, Islam, Judaism and Taoism

Thanksgiving

Is it possible to write a blog while you are listening to FoodNetwork about cooking a turkey?
The Thanksgiving holiday is here and it is my year to cook the turkey.
This will be a first. Yes, I watched Emril Lagasse yesterday about soaking the turkey in brine. I mentioned this to Mark who said, “Do not brine the turkey.”
The turkey is sitting in the refigerator and each day I hear it saying, “What are you going to do with me?”
Last year we went to Mark’s cousins and had a great time. The year before that I odered a cooked the turkey from Whole Foods. The year before the Whole Foods turkey I ordered a cooked turkey from Paradise market. Before the Paradise turkey we went to my sisters. The year before going to my sisters Mark and another one of his cousins put the turkey on the BBQ rotisserie and cooked it. The year before that we went to Mark’s grandmothers and the year before that I can’t remember where we were I just know I didn’t cook the turkey.
I do really like the feeling of Thanksgiving. I also like the feeling of being grateful. I like being with the people you love. I guess I am just scared of the turkey. Besides purchsing the turkey, I bought the turkey lifters, the cheese cloth, the baking pan and the lifting rack. We have a thermometer. I have watched enough FoodNetwork.
I tell myself, “Remember it is a waste of time to worry. It will all work out and be perfect.”
The main dish I should serve right now is, “What am I thankful for that took place last year?”
I am so grateful that Obama was elected president. Morgan started kindergarten. Mark and I went to see the Madonna Sticky & Sweet tour. Our vacation in Mt. Shasta. I saw my first opera, The Elixer of Love. I cut off 10 inches of my hair to give to Locks of Love. The new level of deepness that has taken place in our marriage. I sleep thru the night. I spent the weekend in Napa, CA with my sisters. A great practitioner retreat. A new cell phone that works everywhere and is easy to send a text messages with. A deeper undertanding that the more I give away the more I get.

Obama

We must become the change we want to see in the world. ~ Mohandas Gandhi
Vote with your heart, as you can see I did. Blessings, Gaelen

31 blogs and never missed a month

Wow! I have done 31 blogs and have never missed a month. That is not until this September. I took the entire month off. Not only did I take the entire month off I quit my job. I missed Morgan’s first day of kindergarten! I was a mess.
I was sick. Not just sick but really, really sick. On the 1st of the month, Labor Day I had vertigo. Not having had that before I was really scared. Having the entire room spin is un-describeable. Mark took me to the hospital while I threw up in a small trash can in the car. I stayed overnight and the doctor fixed me up.
Two weeks later I had a cough and a stuffy nose. For the entire week I couldn’t get up. I couldn’t sleep and coughed all night. Mark started agreeing with me that maybe I was really sick. Him sleeping on the couch might have had something to do with that. On the 22nd I finally went to the doctor who said, “You have pneumonia”. Well that would explain why I couldn’t take deep breaths.
I am now waiting for my car to have an oil change and writing this blog in the Lexus waiting room. Anyway, all is well. I am feeling better and I have once again remembered that it is important to take care of myself. Instead of doing 10 things a day I have cut back to 5 things a day. This past Sunday I had a few things to do and I did none of them. I let myself relax while Morgan played with her toys on the living room floor. I gave myself permission to do nothing. I did nothing and it was ok. I do need to take a picture to put on this blog so I will give myself permission to not rush, take my time and know that it will work itself out in perfection.

Mt. Shasta Vacation

I sit here at work and look at ical on my screen. I notice it is already the 19th and that means its Blog time.
This past year most of the time I find myself busy, busy, busy. Not until last weeks vacation did I realize how tired I was. I was tired but couldn't sleep thru the night. I would wake up and be tired. At 6:30am I would be tired. At 3pm I would be tired. At 5pm I would be tired. OK writing about being tired is sort of making me tired.
Anyway, we went to Mt. Shasta in our Airstream trailer. Mt. Shasta is a 14,179 ft. mountain and is one of the earths healing vortexes. On day one of the trip when I went to sleep I awoke at 3am and looked up at the sky. I can’t remember when I have seen so many stars. I went outside and sat down and looked at the stars. They were so beautiful. I felt so empowered and inspired. I wanted to wake up Mark so he could look at them. I had the feeling that nothing would ever go wrong. A feeling of full trust in the universe sat there with me.
When at Mt. Shasta we stay at an RV Resort located in Lake Siskiyou. Mark brings his kayak, puts Morgan in the front with him and rows down the lake. It is beautiful to watch them in the lake and besides it gives me time to sit and watch the mountain.
I think of any unnecessary baggage I want to give to the mountain. Any hurt feelings? Any anger? Anything I need to forgive myself for? Who else do I need to forgive? Any guilt to let go of ?
All of this can be given to the earth but while at a special healing vortex why not leave my unwanted stuff at Mt. Shasta.
On N Mt. Shasta Blvd. there is a small water fall and if you bring something that will hold water you can step into the fall and fill up your water container. The water comes down from Mt. Shasta and flows into the Sacramento river. We had brought 6 Crystal Geyser gallon containers for our trip and had drank all the water so we filled them all up with the most delicious cold water I have ever tasted. I even filled my “Think Green” sigg container, sat down and drank the 32 oz and refilled it and drank more. Morgan loved stepping on the wet stones to get the water. I was amazed at how graceful she was. Unlike me as I stepped slowly on each stone being careful not to fall into the cold water. There were tarot card readers, people making beautiful beaded necklaces, people relaxing, and lots of people getting water. People filling large containers of water. Not only 1 large container but 8 large containers. Lots of good cold free water.
I guess water was our vacationing theme. We went to McCloud and saw the middle water fall. We didn’t walk down to it we just stood at the view point and looked at it amazed at the running water.
Then we drove to Berney Falls. We did walk down to the falls and it was amazing. The sound of the rushing water was hypnotic.
Then we went to Dunsmuir. The water fall there is almost like a heavy shower. Mark and Morgan walked down to it but I stayed in the forest because it was too hot and I didn’t want to walk anymore. A man walked by and said, “Why aren't you heading down to the fall?” I said, “I am too hot to move” He said “You can stand under the fall and it will cool you down.” I thought, I think I am too scared to stand under the fall. I did remember I was wearing my bathing suit and Mark and Morgan were down there and it might be fun. So I walked down and slowly got closer to the fall and eventually went under the water and it was so cold that I was instantly cool. Morgan was interested but didn’t go under the fall. The week went by quickly and it was time to go. We said good bye Mt. Shasta, good bye German brown trout, good bye friends, see you next year.

What to blog about?

Why is it that when I start to think about what to blog about I can’t remember what went on this month? I am thinking about what is going to go on next month. We are going to Mount Shasta to visit with friends at Lake Siskiyou and I am quite excited. I guess I shoud tell the whole truth, I am excited but I will be missing a great event. The event is called “Spend a day with Three Modern Mystics” Neale Donald Walsh, Jean Houston and Joan Borysenko who will be speaking on the topic of renewing your appreciation for life on earth.
10 years ago I heard Neale Donald Walsch speak at Agape and I just loved him. I am sorry to miss this. And anyone who says, “Accept yourself the way you are” as Joan Borysenko says in her book, “Your Souls Compass” is a winner with me.
If you have any interest in hearing each of them speak you can watch a 4 minute video on YouTube. Paste this link into your browser:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ij7Yt3Lwe44
Ok, I shouldn’t focus on what events I am going to miss, as the universe is presenting me a beautiful picture of the environment at Mount Shasta and I am excited to be arriving there in August. I hope you find yourself arriving at a place of happiness this summer too.

Food Poisoning

Its hard to believe that here I am at work (with nothing to do, which is not so hard to believe) and its blog time once again. Last month I had food poisoning! Food poisoning was a first time event for me.
I have heard many people say, they had just gotten over food poisoning. I felt sorry for them. Not having had it before, I was just kinda sorry though. Now I know better.
I do believe that with every expierence there is a lesson to learn. I really do not mind learning a lesson, but this lesson was a hard one to go thru. I had no idea that my stomache could put me thru horrible vomiting. That my body could be so sore. I felt like someone had beaten me up. I was surpized to think, if I died right now I would be OK with that.
I guess it was the lesson of surrender. The lesson of feeling so very horrible that anything to take me away from the pain was OK. Having watched the news (which is something I never do) I thought I might have salmonella. Even my sister Carrie asked me if I eaten any tomatoes. She thought I might have salmonella too. I heard some people died from tomato salmonella. I thought maybe that I would die from it.
I remember after having Morgan, I thought child birth was painful. Food poisoning was way, way, more painful than child birth. After throwing up for 4 hours Mark thought I might want something to eat. He made me steak and green beans. Yes, it was nice he made me something to eat, but steak and green beans? Chicken soup is what I wanted. Nothing else. Just chicken soup. Well, even toast and tea would have been OK. I learned the lesson of surrender and Mark learned the lesson of giving someone chicken soup after being sick is a good thing.

Behind on my Blog

Today is May 27th but to me it feels like summer time. It must be summer. I am behind on my blog and usually I am not behind on my blog. I ask myself, “Why are you behind?” I hear myself saying, “Well you were busy” I think, “Yes that is true, you are doing your blog while at work.” Not just thinking about my blog but typing it an my MacBook while I am at work. NO soothing music, no cup of tea, just sitting at my work desk waititng for the phone to ring and doing my blog. I sit here and feel myself breathing, relaxing my shoulders and listening to my heart about what I should be writing.
Anger. All people feel anger. I feel a bit angrey even writing about anger. I try to send my anger back down to the earth. Release it down to the ground. When I do that I feel grounded. Lighter. It feels so good not to carry angry feelings around. To just drop them. I love giving things away, and I think when I give angry feelings back to the earth it helps me to feel better.
For me finding a private safe place to let my feelings go really helps. I like having the power to heal myself at will. What I love the most though is remembering to heal myself right away. To leave the negative feelings of anger behind forgive my self. When I can sleep thru the night and wake up in the morning with a smile on my face I know all is well.

Earth Hour

This months blog is a suggestion from my friend. I got an e-mail from a friend alerting me about Earth Hour. After reading about Earth Hour I e-mailed it out to all of my friends too. In my earliest childhood memories I can still hear my grandmother Elsie saying, “Turn that light off, were not the Edisons.” My sister Carrie is a water person. The kind of person who as a child would always turn off the water when brushing her teeth. She would say to Colleen and I “Turn off the water” when we would brush our teeth. Maybe she got that from our grandmother too but I have never asked her where she got that from. It could possibly be from something on TV. Though I have always been a turn off the lights person. I was excited to participate in Earth Hour at 8PM on March 28. I was excited to share with Morgan that we were helping out the environment and speaking out for change. I was happy to have her in bed by 8PM with the lights out. Sort of selfish but that’s Ok too, isn’t it? I was really happy to hear from my friend that she and her family had a fun time telling stories in the dark. I love candle light. Its cozy for me. I also like going to bed early. Ok I like going to bed early when I wake up early, which is most days as my body says to me, “Time to wake up, its 6AM.” Now I don’t always get up I just lay in the bed until the alarm clock goes off at 6:30AM. I am thinking why wait until 2009 for the next Earth Hour day, why not turn out the lights early every night.